An Open Letter

Dear I Love You So Much Wall,

Hey, dude. I love you back. So much. This is why I had to write this letter. I appreciate you as a reminder of why I loved this city so much when I moved here. It’s random acts like this that make Austin so fun to live in. Often, Austinites, absorb anonymous acts of creativity as their own, openly, and with great enthusiasm. To be honest, the bro side of me was initially like, “That’s so lame. Ha. You love dick so much.” But, that’s not really me, man. That’s not me. I really think this is awesome. 

Unfortunately, your location near the popular Austin tourist locations on South Congress Avenue transformed you into, my fair wall friend, a hot spot for yuppie out-of-town and local yuppies to take their photos. Something like this shouldn’t bother me. Hell, people take tons of pictures in front of that frog thing Daniel Johnston painted on Guadalupe. They take loads of photos at Mount Bonnell or Downtown in the early mornings. Austin is a photogenic town. For some reason, I feel really uneasy when I watch people run up to to you and ask strangers to take their picture or when I see people taking couples’ photos in front of you.

Does that not bother you? That everyone else has taken their picture there? You literally say the same thing every time. Everyone’s picture reads “I love you so much.” Everyone knows what you are and where you are. Perhaps, I find it lazy, and I don’t like lazy when it comes to things as important as couples’ photos. I get frustrated with the lack of creativity in people, and as I watch giddy individuals and groups gather at this wall, I watch a little bit of you, my dear friend, die. A piece of you is taken every time a member of the roaming hoard of Texan yuppies comes to South Congress to inject a bit of bohemian kitsch into their dull lives.

People like me, who actually frequent the area because I live here, have to watch something that I would have liked to have done with my future wife and you become less and less important. The whims of a sweet, artistic soul that created you are now just another cultural commodity that this city offers that is getting sopped up by the tasteless, cultureless dinner roll that are groups of Texan yuppies.

I feel sorry for you. I feel sorry for the people that work at Jo’s that have to share a wall with you and have to put up with questions about you. I sometimes feel bad for this city. It’s too nice for its own good. 

I should just get over it. 




Tony Romo refuses to win playoff games.

I tend to draw several equine-themed comparisons to my personality.  “Ass” comes to mind, but many of you have witnessed my stubbornness.  I’m stubborn as a mule.  It’s not that I can’t ever be wrong.  I’m well aware of how fucking stupid I am. Thanks.

It just takes me a while to believe it.

I am steadfast to protect my ideals, beliefs and favorite sports teams.


I hate Christmas/the Holiday Season.

Why? Well, that’s fucking easy.  Christmas was always a depressing time for me as a kid.  It might have been driven by my desire to want to know my family better and consistently missing the opportunity. Christmas is the perfect ruse for bringing people together.

I have no idea what it’s like to have a close knit extended family because of circumstance and rivalries.  It always puzzles me to hear people talk about hanging out with their cousins.  Cousins? I only really got to know one, and the others were just peripheral in the long term.  Meh.

People always rave about how the Holidays are a time for family and friends.  For me, it was always a time to get away from school and to eat tamales. Yum. Tamales.  And, let’s be honest here, no one cares about God during the holidays anymore.  It’s not 2003.  We don’t have to pretend anymore.

It’s not like I hate on family.  I just don’t know what that’s like.  Sometimes, I think I’m jealous of folks that have lots of family around, but then I think of the most ridiculous episodes of Arrested Development and take back my jealousy.  I should be happy with who I have in my life, but I’m selfish.

I’m very pro-death penalty

I know I’m losing a lot of you at this point. Actually, I’m just pro-death.  If you want, you can just wait until the resources run out and just watch people die.  I really don’t want to wait around that long.  Let’s just get it over with now so we can save ourselves the trouble of having to wield a sawed-off in order to get milk from the local grocer.

I’m not promoting eugenics or genocide here.  Those are two things I don’t really “get” or endorse, but I just think that maybe we shouldn’t be quick to chastise, or help, those who don’t wear seat-belts or decide that getting into a polar bear cage is a good idea.  We should encourage intrepidity.  Of course, when we do that we end up with a lot of funerals and memorials on our hands.  Ugh.  Social gatherings.

I’m anti-funeral, but oddly enough, very pro-gun.

I’m convinced that Texas is the best state in the Union.

Mack Brown lives here.

I think all children should learn a second language.  Yes, even French.

Being bi-lingual and being able to fumble my way through German makes for fun and interesting encounters.

In certain parts of Britain, French, German and Latin are parts of a child’s curriculum.  Texas, a state that shares a border with Mexico, barely has any Foreign Language requirements in early childhood education, and the requisite courses in middle school and high school are hardly stringent enough to make an impact.  If we put an effort into teaching second languages, maybe we can improve the our cultural and societal state in the coming generations.  It’s one thing to learn about a place, but learning someone’s language gives you insight in their culture.

Probably won’t happen.  Kids are too spoiled and bunch of sods.  I include myself in that assessment.

The Dallas Cowboys are the worst team in NFL History.

I don’t care if they beat the Pedophilia Eagles last night, the Cowboys run game consists of three mediocre backs, they have no #1 receiver and their defense is suspect when actually confronted with the run.  The only bright spot on that entire team is Tony Romo, but the Cowboy band wagoners can’t believe that the boy can flat out play.  He might get you in tight spots, eat greasy fried foods before holding field goal attempts or nail psycho broads, but he is the only reason Dallas wins.

Where he goes, Dallas goes, and if you can’t protect him and your receivers can’t get open there’s only so much you can do.  Blame your O-line, not the kid who nearly gets killed every game and survives because of his athleticism.  This just isn’t Romo.  It’s every quarterback since Aikman.

Every decision made by Jerry Jones is profit-driven.  Whether good or bad in your eyes one thing is for sure, they are not football decisions.  Pacman worked out right?  Owens sure delivered that Super Bowl.  Parcells wasn’t hired because of his coaching ability.  Jones wanted butts in the seats, and instead of giving the man the locker room necessary to win, he threw a wrench in it and the entire Parcells Era. Also, who fires TOM LANDRY?!


I’m certain I’ve shown my ignorance through this post, but I’m convinced that we all have things that we truly believe.  There are things that we hold that can’t be defeated through logic or reason.  Our religious, political and social beliefs are all dripping with emotion.  You can’t defeat emotion.

I’m in a glass case of it,


beginning things

This is my second/third (if you count an early-2000s era LiveJournal) attempt at a blog. I used blogs in the past to deal with personal issues. I would leave them open to the public, knowing what the consequences were. This blog won’t go down that road. To avoid most interpersonal conflicts, the intended purpose of this blog is to criticize the anonymous.  I hope the more I get the hang of this, the better the writing and topics get.

I want to discuss the everyday things I see, and hear. As any good American, I consume. Also, like any good student of the liberal arts (blegh!), I have a lot of opinions about things I interact with on a daily basis. You will probably not agree with what I have to say, have an opinion on whatever sport I’m yelling about or even like the way I write about it. I just want this blog to be fun. In fact, I’m pretty sure this blog will be fun at the expense of others. I hope you’re okay with that. OK.

Now, onto the most important thing—myself. I’m an out-of-shape, twenty-three year old male from Austin, TX. A graduate of St. Edward’s University, I have a degree in History (know-it-all), and one day hope to get my hands on a Ph. D.

I currently have two employers, but will probably disclose their names in another post.  I’m not a fucking bum!

I have opinions, and I, being a dirty fucking liberal fascist, feel like all voices are important. I suppose this will be mine, for now. I’m originally from Houston, TX—Sharpstown to be exact. I’m obsessed with sports, music, politics, lively debate and people’s day-to-day interactions. So, let’s just get started, eh?

Continue reading beginning things