The International Break: Clubs, Money, Dictatorships, and Just About Everything You Can Throw Into a Post

As nations compete against one another for the honor of taking a month-long vacation in Brasil come Summer 2014, fans of the other nations in football are given a moment to break from the baying and whining that comes with supporting a football club. There have been a lot of mishaps by clubs in the transfer window — all amplified by the panicky furor of deadline day. Soccer news outlets seem to have taken pleasure in haunting disaffected fans through their dissections of the successes and failures of deadline day and the transfer window. Arsenal and Liverpool were lambasted for their inactivity. Chelsea and Tottenham spent millions of pounds on players during the window. QPR created some sort of weirdo Frankenstein team over the past few months. 

Half-hearted reasoning and criticism has spewed out from everyone from players to managers to celebrities to newspeople. It’s almost too much. However, as much conjecture the media pumps out about transfer policies or internal schisms, these pseudo-nations, autonomous entities operate rather clandestinely. Tight-lipped, clubs obscure our ability to examine their inner-workings. American sports are phenomenally transparent in comparison to European and international sport. This is something I have come to learn and hate about international soccer. Clubs are managed by men (mostly men) and women that have the cultural and economic power to do as they please with the clubs and organizations they are entrusted with or have purchased with their oil/dirty money. It would probably be easier to topple a government than pry a football club from the hands of a terrible, dictatorial, or unbelievably incompetent owner.

 

—-


            I had a professor in my early university years that taught Europe in the 20th Century and Russian History. She wasn’t always a professor. During WWII, she spent time in the Army doing her part as much as she was allowed in the 1940s on the ground here in the States. By the time Vietnam rolled around, she had raised a few kids and almost had them out of the house. Her commitment to her country led her to volunteering to join military intelligence as an interpreter. She became fluent in Russian and French. Pretty useful during the Cold War. She later on went to earn her Ph.D. in Russian History. By the time I had enrolled in her class, she was in her late-70s, but still sharp as a tack. She was my kind of dame.

Between 2004 – 2006, I took a few courses of hers and fell in love with Russian History and Modern European History. At the same time, The United States was embroiled in two wars in far off lands. One was about 9/11 in Afghanistan. The other over some unfinished business we kind of started in Iraq. Every couple of weeks or so, Louise would take some time from her lesson to explain the situation in Iraq and Afghanistan. This became really important when she explained Russian intervention in Afghanistan in the 1980s. She almost always ended with an explanation of how democracy can never work inorganically imposed on a culture that never knew that kind of cooperation. It didn’t come from a jingoistic, Islamophobic place. It came from an understanding of History that was peppered with examples of the imposition of ideology on a people who were not receptive or ready, depending on how your ideology informs you. Imposing restrictions or freedom on people who were not ready, who did not know the responsibility, or just plain didn’t care for it was not a good idea. This is how Louise went about explaining why the transition from an Imperial, monarchist Russia to the USSR was not so incredibly revolutionary. Sure, the ideas and motivations were different, but structurally, it was much of the same. There was a single figure that controlled everything, either by design or holy mandate; it was control from the center. Decisions would be made and there would be no deliberation. Wrong or right, the responsibility was that of the great leader to guide the masses.

 

—-

 

As this week passed, fans of Liverpool, Milan, Arsenal, and many others bemoaned their lack of signings. What were they expected to do now? Get behind their teams? As exchanges between fans began, a rueful, resentful tone arose from those felt hard done by. They resented the money and influence of the Chelseas and Manchester Citys of the world. These clubs exhibit strong leadership with drive and determination. Maybe some lack the vision. For example, Liverpool loaned out Andy Carroll without giving Rodgers and the administration enough time to get a decent replacement. The one person they did go after, Liverpool failed to meet the asking price by a couple of million pounds, after having paid £35m for Andy to begin with. He’s an expensive mistake. Leadership did not and has not worked together well enough in Liverpool for several years – under Henry or not. Liverpool fans bombarded John Henry with abuse and criticism. Keyboard warrior stuff. They forget Henry has helped get Liverpool out of the mess they were in to begin with. This impatience is exacerbated by the existence of these “sugar daddy clubs.”

Sugar daddy clubs have the ability to just buy a player at will and not have to answer to anyone. Supporters and the interested aren’t even within earshot of these guys. There are no pesky boards or even managers to say no. 

“I want Sheva. I buy Sheva. You work with him now.”

Times are changing, though. This week I read a couple of really great articles about Financial Fair Play, UEFA’s impending rules on how clubs operate financially which will potentially have competitive and financial consequences for clubs that operate in the red without a viable plan of getting out of their financial holes. Rules can become incredibly complicated. Both Gabriele Marcotti and the fellas at Swiss Ramble did an amazing job explaining the rules to simple people like me. What truly struck me was the ease a club could possibly get out of punitive payments or missing out on European competition with the write lawyers or financial experts. UEFA has not imposed a disciplinary system. Instead it’s a set of possibilities and their word that they’ll use their discretion when handing out punishments.

So, sleep well, Chelsea fans. All of the jeering about how the rules are changing and how our plastic club can’t survive is unfounded. Listen, if Chelsea got out of serving a full 18 months without the possibility of signing any new players for the Kakuta fiasco just by batting its eyelids, you shouldn’t worry. Clubs will pretty much be able to operate as they have. This new system will only act as a new way to validate the tyrannical, dictatorial, and wasteful spending of clubs. Some clubs may act irresponsibly with no accountability, but as long as they keep UEFA off their tails, everything is fine. There will be no plagues or droughts like those that affected early kings and princes as long as UEFA are as malleable as they intend to be. UEFA will act as another mechanism to maintaining the natural order that fans and owners love so much but to their own detriment. 

Historically, pseudo-accountability, validation from on high has served autocrats, totalitarians, dictators, kinds, and strongmen well. The game of fabricating a mandate or external force pushing the hand of the government plays well into the obscured lives of owners and chairmen.  Now owners can play the part of either in opposition or cooperating with a variable that is out of their control when it really is not. The external can bring everyone together, hold together hierarchy, and keep the peace. This is if they’re smart.

UEFA’s discretion will change from here to there, and it is unpredictable. A friend of big money clubs now, it can all go wrong very quickly. UEFA can become foe or ally quickly, and it is important for fans to understand this and push for more responsible spending the best way they can. A whim could doom a club much like the Goodell Era of the NFL here in the United States.

So what?

Chelsea had its Sputnik moment last season. The top-down thing works rarely, and the club’s future is invested in a man with a short temper and a long life ahead that may lead him out of football. Chelsea opening its continental account was an amazing story and a great achievement for everyone who supports Chelsea, but it’s not the end nor is it close. The arms race with City, United, Real, Barcelona, and PSG will continue. What clubs and fans will have to realize is global economic systems will eventually catch up with the overspent, overexerted, and overbearing clubs, much like they caught up with the Soviet Union and Communist China in the late-1980s. Sure, economies have collapsed and football has remained okay, but for how long? It’s already affecting Italy and Spain’s leagues. China got itself out of the muck, but Russia sure hasn’t. Both nations were so caught up in the need for central, strong authority after their near/total collapses, that they refused to truly change the order of things. Putin is still in power, and the People’s Republic is still run by a handful of party members.

Central authority allows people to throw their hands in the air and absolve themselves of responsibility. It also reinforces the simplistic natural order of things. No matter how much people complain about the processes in football or the money, given the opportunity, many wouldn’t take it upon themselves to help manage their clubs in whatever system available. However, this doesn’t really tell us much. Many of us like standing outside of the limelight, and we wouldn’t like people constantly speculating about our money and our private lives. It takes a madman to run a club. It takes a madman to rule a nation. No matter how mad football becomes, we’re complicit in its practices. It feeds off of us, and we feed off of it. We’re overtaken by the revolutionary fever that has claimed so many through the course of history. We’re victims and collaborators all the same.

European Football, Colonization, and FUN WITH MAPS!

I’ve been so swamped at work, and I’ve found little time to just write for myself, Own Goal, or work on The LOL is Round. I wrote this on a break at work. It took 5 minutes or so [humblebrag]. As soon as this conference is planned and done with, I’ll be ready to take on this upcoming season with lots of poorly thought out pieces and crudely drawn references to things no one gives a shit about, as such:

The critique of the systematic pillaging of the non-European world at the hands of European powers isn’t something new. Since the revolution of revisionist history in the United States and Europe in the 1950s and 1960s and the study of post-colonial ERRYTHANG, English-language literature on the events between 1492 and now has gotten quite expansive. Eduardo Galeano, if you’re looking for a good book on the subject, wrote The Open Veins of Latin America in 1971. It’s wholly depressing, but is a great resource for building one’s understanding of the work that goes into creating a European empire at the expense of countless lives. From the late-15th century until about last week, European powers, at will, through war, disease, papal decree, whatever, carved up the natural and human resources of the non-European world. Europeans got pretty efficient at creating networks of colonial and imperial outposts that served crowns and governments over centuries. America even got in on the action after the War of 1812 and that lil’ Monroe Doctrine-y thing.

This summer marks another off season where European football clubs take their show on the road and hit Africa, Asia, and North America with a typhoon of lazy step overs and out-of-shape footballers. Disturbingly, the way the European and American media speaks about these tours, they seem more like crusades of conquest than anything else — a flexing of European exceptionalism. Most importantly, it’s all part of a new systematic, calculated ‘materialistic’ sacking of new world markets that can provide a place for the selling of English and Spanish goods. Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester City, United, Arsenal, Real Madrid, Barcelona, Milan, Juve, PSG these are the new global conquistadors of corporate entertainment. United and Arsenal (BTW Arsene Wenger doesn’t like this who touring thing) have their eyes set on Africa, Asia, and the Middle East (so do Real Madrid). Chelsea spends its time and money to make money in the United States and in the process cornering already sports-heavy markets with their royal blue and white, rouble-fueled charm, but everyone wants a piece of that sweet American pie.

Like European conquerors before, clubs in Europe swear that they are spreading the noble truth that is European football that these unwashed, unclothed, and backward peoples really need. It is their duty as emissaries of European football culture. This truth will cleanse the souls of these beasts and also create a uniformity that will make the European products easier to sell and pawn off to people thousands of miles from SW6 or the Champs-Élysées. These noble savages will inevitably throw away their local culture and traditions after having seen the true light that is global marketing strategies.

The winners are no longer decided in a league or cup formet; it is won in the storefronts and online shopping carts outside of Europe. South America, Africa, North America, and Asia, are the new battlegrounds for European competition. And, like the colonization of Africa in the 19th century at the hands of the English, Dutch, Belgians, Germans, Portuguese, Spanish, and Italians, these are both public and private enterprises that benefit the European public and private sectors. 

To be honest, the football is better in Europe. They do have the best players and the best coaches. Everyone on the wrong side of the imaginary line that divides Europe from the rest of us should be proud that their exported products — players like Messi, Suarez, Toure, Drogba, Dempsey, etc. — are repackaged and sold directly to those who helped create these and many other greats of the eternal game.

Shades of the Columbian Exchange. 

Unfortunately, here, there will be no Boer War. Even worse, there will be no Boxer Rebellion or Opium War. This time the conquered are happy to have their new masters. They are welcomed with open arms. I am, at times, that person.

Personally, it’s hard to come to terms with the way clubs, the European media, and even the American media approach these pre-season friendlies. At times I just want to say screw it and not watch a minute and burn all my Chelsea shirts. My rage against the machine usually stops because I realize how much I paid for those shirts. I also really love European football. It’s entertaining.

The same stupid smile I wear on my face when sipping a Coke or buying frivolous piece of technology I felt that I absolutely needed is probably the same smile I exhibit when the European season kicks off. It’s the same smile I have when I get to see my favorite players play against the Sounders or PSG. The smile is a sign of the state of blissful ignorance I have entered when Chelsea Blue is on the screen. I’m conflicted because I feel like I owe my local football culture more, but who isn’t? I try hard to like the MLS and my local team, but my inclination is still there to sing “Blue is the Colour” and bang on about how John Terry couldn’t possibly be racist. 

Screw it.

The MLS All-Stars v. Chelsea Football Club will be aired tomorrow, Wednesday, July 23 on NBC at 7:30PM CST.