Solo

If you replace the scenic meadow landscape on this photo with mewithoutYou on stage at Emo's Outside, you'll get the picture I'm trying to paint.

Ever go to a concert and notice that guy that’s just there by himself?  Every show I’ve been to has that guy.  What a LOSER! Oh my god!  I mean, he couldn’t even wrangle together a couple of friends to go to this show?  Has he no life?  I bet he plays hours of video games a day, and “reads” a lot.  At least, he could have brought his girlfriend. With a mug like that I’m sure he doesn’t even have a girlfriend. What an asshole.

Well, I was that asshole last night.  I liked it.  I haven’t been to a concert by myself in a while, not since mewithoutYou and The Dear Hunter in June.  THAT show was my first solo flight.  I didn’t really feel that weird about it because it was mewithoutYou, and their Christian post-hXc followers can be pretty nice.  I expect most Christians to be convivial unless I bring up gay marriage or how Jesus probably rode a Velociraptor around.  That show was really nice, despite the hands being held high and the smell of cologne.  However, I kind of told myself I would never do it again.  I was alone.  I was out in the open.  I could have been pamphleteer-ed or EVEN WORSE converted.  You always need a wingman or best case scenario, a squadron.

In high school and college, I usually went to concerts at least rolling three deep, maybe even with a lady to score us the “approachable” points with da ladeez.  I never really thought about it, but the shows we went to kind of required that we keep together closely and watch each others’ backs.  I sometimes imagine what would have happened if that guy from The Mars Volta concert with the word “FUCK” tattooed across his chest wanted to start a fight with me, instead of the other shirtless bro.  I would have been publicly humiliated by this guy who, obviously, had a hormone problem.  What if that cat fight I broke up at the Between the Buried and Me show got out of hand and the two chicks decided to break me off?  I would have had my head on a swivel, but I’m pretty sure I would have gotten jacked the fuck up.  The only thing worse than fighting one out of control chick is fighting two.

With all of this running through my mind before the La Dispute show last night at Emo’s, I decided to go for it. I love them so much, it didn’t matter where they played.  I would have to see them.

I braved the chances of me bumping into the wrong person and getting gang tackled by a squad of hipsters.  Alas, it did not happen.  Actually, I convinced myself that if things got rough I would just start kicking people in the skinny jeans.  I mean, it’s low, but effective, and I’m not really a person with many principles/morals/regrets.

But, the experience taught me one thing.  I’ve always been kind of alone.  I was an only child growing up.  I did shit alone all the time.  I’ve been doing my own laundry since I was 8.  [I know, legit, right?]  I mean, shit, I’ve become so fucking needy of other people in the past few years.  I’m realizing every day how stupid it’s become.  I need contact, but not as much as I think I do.  I’m finally becoming aware of how little I need people in my day-to-day life.  I really like my friends, but I’m becoming more independent, as I once was, as I always should have been.  I believe it’s made me weak.  I’m too conscious of the outside. I’m too focused on what people have thought about me and the way that people will see me if I treat people a certain way.  Anyway.

My New Year Resolution is to do as such:

  • Become more independent emotionally
  • Get all of the needy, narcissistic and manipulative people out of my life

Oddly enough, those two are directly related.  My personality for some reason focuses on helping people that are in trouble.  I want to fix things, inanimate or animate, but I can’t do that anymore. Time to go back to lone wolf mode.  Because the more time you spend with yourself, the more you realize that you’re pretty fucking crummy, too.  The only person left to fix is you.

It’s tool time,

dago

PS: THEY WERE FUCKING AWESOME

PPS:  I love you, Houston Texans (9 – 7).  Good season. Let’s build on that.

My Albums of the Decade

A lot of people are compiling their lists of favorite albums, bands, movies, television shows or whatever of the decade.  I decided it would be fun to try to get a list together for my favorite albums of the decade.  I was initially optimistic about the list, but I quickly realized how lame the past decade has been.  Anyway, these are my personal albums of the decade.  I’m sure most of you will either hate the bands or albums.   A lot of these are sort of sentimental picks.  Many these albums got me through some tough times.  Others were my introduction into whole new genres.  Some are bands that grew on me and have left a huge impression.  I encourage you all to make your own lists.  I would love to read them. :D

The List

  1. Between the Buried and MeColors (2007) link
  2. At the Drive-InRelationship of Command (2000) link
  3. The Mars VoltaDe-Loused in the Comatorium (2003) link
  4. Coheed and CambriaIn Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth: III (2003) link
  5. Circle Takes the SquareAs the Roots Undo (2004) link
  6. MuseAbsolution (2003) link
  7. Jimmy Eat WorldBleed American (2001) link
  8. La DisputeSomewhere At The Bottom Of The River Between Vega And Altair (2008) link
  9. ThursdayFull Collapse (2001) link
  10. The Mountain GoatsAll Hail West Texas (2002) link
  11. The Number Twelve Looks Like YouMongrel (2007) link
  12. The Fall of TroyManipulator (2007) link
  13. Café Tacvba – Cuatro Caminos (2003) link
  14. The Postal ServiceGive Up (2003) link
  15. Three 6 MafiaThe Most Known Unknowns (2005) link
  16. Queens of the Stone Age Songs for the Deaf (2002) link
  17. Ted Leo & the Pharmacists Hearts of Oak (2003) link
  18. The Blood BrothersYoung Machetes (2006) link
  19. Rodrigo y GabrielaRodrigo y Gabriela (2006) link
  20. mewithoutYou[A–>B] Life (2002) link
  21. Tenacious D Tenacious D (2001) link
  22. ParamoreRiot (2007) link
  23. Taking Back SundayTell All Your Friends (2002) link
  24. The Plot to Blow Up the Eiffel TowerDissertation, Honey (2003) link
  25. System of a DownToxicity (2001) link

Honorable Mention

  • Alkaline TrioFrom Here to Infirmary (2001) link
  • Strike AnywhereChange is a Sound (2001) link
  • Blink-182Take Off Your Pants and Jacket (2001) link
  • NOFXWar on Errorism (2004) link
  • Job For a CowboyDoom EP (2005) link
  • At All CostIt’s Time to Decide (2006) link
  • The Smashing PumpkinsMachina and the Machines of God (2000) link
  • Bloc PartySilent Alarm (2005) link
  • Cursive Mama, I’m Swollen (2009) link
  • See You Next TuesdayParasite (2007) link
  • Protest the HeroKezia (2005) link
  • The DarknessPermission to Land (2003) link

Thank you, Between the Buried and Me.

beginning things

This is my second/third (if you count an early-2000s era LiveJournal) attempt at a blog. I used blogs in the past to deal with personal issues. I would leave them open to the public, knowing what the consequences were. This blog won’t go down that road. To avoid most interpersonal conflicts, the intended purpose of this blog is to criticize the anonymous.  I hope the more I get the hang of this, the better the writing and topics get.

I want to discuss the everyday things I see, and hear. As any good American, I consume. Also, like any good student of the liberal arts (blegh!), I have a lot of opinions about things I interact with on a daily basis. You will probably not agree with what I have to say, have an opinion on whatever sport I’m yelling about or even like the way I write about it. I just want this blog to be fun. In fact, I’m pretty sure this blog will be fun at the expense of others. I hope you’re okay with that. OK.

Now, onto the most important thing—myself. I’m an out-of-shape, twenty-three year old male from Austin, TX. A graduate of St. Edward’s University, I have a degree in History (know-it-all), and one day hope to get my hands on a Ph. D.

I currently have two employers, but will probably disclose their names in another post.  I’m not a fucking bum!

I have opinions, and I, being a dirty fucking liberal fascist, feel like all voices are important. I suppose this will be mine, for now. I’m originally from Houston, TX—Sharpstown to be exact. I’m obsessed with sports, music, politics, lively debate and people’s day-to-day interactions. So, let’s just get started, eh?

Continue reading beginning things