Verb

Wegnering - v. Managing a team that consistently does not win important matches, and still managing to keep one's job because of the successes of one season.

The Internet Age is evolving our language.  Everyday people learn new terms and phrases that eventually sink into our daily use.  Phrases like, “I googled your mom last night!”; “FML”; “I’ll YouTube it later!”; and “I’m toats gonna bangbus it tonight,” are commonplace now.  But a lot of these terms are converted from proper nouns.  These select few have branded themselves so well that we use their name as an action.  What’s amazing is that they’ve al become part of our language somewhat organically.  Google never really told us to use their name as a verb, yet we do.  It’s just a strange phenomenon to me.  I never say I’m going to Honda it over to your house.  However, I’m going to start doing that.

I tweeted at someone this morning.  There. I did it.

I hope that I get verbed some day.  Maybe my impact on American life and culture will be so great that people will eventually “dago” something.  How will I get there?  I don’t know.  I can go the “Miley being Miley” route and just become an overly-marketed commodity.  I could start a business.  Or, I could become a royal fuck up.  All of these require me to get famous somehow.  This will prove difficult.

What will it mean? Judging from my current career/personal path it can be a host of things:

  • Sit at home and feel sorry for yourself
  • Act out in an attempt to draw attention to oneself
  • Make coffee while attempting to maintain a sense of self-worth
  • Go to graduate school to press the snooze button on life
  • Impulsively become obsessed just to watch your interest subside with the changing of the tide
  • BE RAD AS SHIT

The last one seems a bit out of reach, but still attainable if I start doing some borderline Indiana-Jones-meets-Steven-Segal-in-a-death-match-in-Castle-Greyskull-ish shit.

I think we should all think about what our verb-ed name would come to represent.  Maybe we would act differently.  Currently, mine would probably mean, “Someone who wears themselves thin only to pile on more shit into their lives to the point where they become non-functional and fucking douchey.”

I’m totally dagoing myself right now,

Dago

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3 thoughts on “Verb”

  1. Unfortunately, the British were ahead of my time and already patented “shagged.” I couldn’t change the meaning now even if I wanted to.

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