I got way too good at this game growing up. I was mad legit, and I let everyone in the neighborhood know it. I should have gloated more!

There are some things that you just can’t say.  Like, “…My guitar sounds retarded and muffled, like a special needs kid getting murdered.”

Honestly, I said this because I was pretty much convinced that’s what my guitar sounded like today– intermittent, muffled noise with a lot of scratching.  I typed it out into my status box on Tweetdeck, and before I hit “Enter”, I realized what I would be doing.  I would be making people read a status about disabled people getting iced.  I thought it would be a nice way of figuring out who would be appalled and who would actually take the time to type “lol” into the comment box.

I got no lols. (Ok, I got two lols from when I wrote this part until the end)

Faith in humanity restored!

There are a lot of things that we’re afraid to talk about or discuss. We’re afraid to talk candidly about race.  When discussing race relations with someone, I usually get a lot of nods.  I attribute that more to my color than what I’m actually saying.  It’s impossible for me to be that right about anything.  People don’t want to say the wrong thing.  But, people should realize that political correctness isn’t there to stop curious people or reasonable people from asking questions or discussing things, it’s there to keep stupid hillbillies/racists with air time or a forum to not say dumb shit, ala Bill O or Ronald Reagan.

I don’t get offended easily, but I do understand when things are offensive.  People have their lines and they don’t like them being crossed without their permission.  Be it an AIDS joke or calling liberals fascists, there a lot of things you can’t mutter out there without getting your head chopped off.

Frankness is one of my biggest enemies.  When I feel I have to say something, I do.  I don’t care what it is, but I’m not going to hold back.  Since I’m a really emotional person, that tends to never be the right thing to say.  Retrospection always makes me feel like a moron.

I mean, I regret wearing rainbow-colored zebra shorts and pants when I was a kid.  That was offensive then.

I’m open to talk about anything in regards to sex, politics, religion, etc., but for the longest time I refused to talk about graduate school.  The greatest disappointment in my life was not getting into a PhD program, which I’ve probably already discussed here.  Afterward, I was so opposed to talking about my future openly that I honestly got mad when people asked about it.   Getting upset with people for asking honest questions was so fucking stupid.  I was so frustrated that I couldn’t ever talk to anyone about my future, except maybe with Jason.  As arbitrary as it seems now, it was really important for me to not discuss the future with anyone.  Even though, it’s the only thing I think about outside of the ladies, football, soccer and work.

I re-evaluated my line.  I needed to get over the fact that my future wasn’t certain and maybe talking to people might help me deal.  It was stupid to be so guarded about it.  I need to re-evaluate everything right now.

Besides, what else am I going to do before I go to grad school in January,


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