The “Fuck Bitches, Get Money” model is pretty prevalent where I’m from. Besides the humidity and smog, Houston is well-known for its flashy rappers, candy paint, cough syrup and me, of course.
I never felt comfortable thinking that way. Blood diamonds just aren’t my thing. I guess I can thank the middle-class values television taught me (See post: Kinder). Perhaps, it was because my family came from El Salvador in the 1980s and their priorities were as such:
- Don’t get blown up
- Everything else
They had no time to get ghetto rich. Momma and Big Poppa “Jig on the cover of Fortune” (which is how I actually refer to my father on the phone) worked two jobs and had to take care of my bobble-head. They instilled in me a sense of propriety which I never got from the kids around me. They didn’t get here and become enthralled in the high-life of America in the 1980s. They were hard-working people from Central America that didn’t take no guff.
Unfortunately for my parents and their retirement plans, I decided that money wasn’t the most important thing to me. I assumed problems followed dollar signs–Thanks, Puff. As I incur more debt by going to grad school and wasting time away from the workforce, I can’t help but feel a little bit behind the curve. I’m poor, foo’! In fact, my game is not “tight”.
I’m quickly realizing that I have entered a different sort of rat-race. It’s not about who’s got the latest SEGA console or sickest POG collection anymore, it’s a contest of who’s the coolest. I’m not talking about who gets to be the “Red Ranger” either.
I don’t know if this happens at this age or not. I assume that people who graduated from college are just finding new ways to feel validated and acknowledged. I have no delusions, this blog is my attempt at this. I’m getting my ideas out there and hearing feedback. But it’s usually from my friends and takes the form of:
- roflcopters i haz one soisoisoisoisoisoisoi
- u r teh ghey
- “The Double Whammy” – Your blog was really funny, but it doesn’t change the fact that everyone’s mom thinks you’re gay.
People feel validated by different things like money, relationships, sexual partners, grades, etc. I guess it’s all up to you. I’m happy with what I have right now. I’m a barista/bookseller. I’ve got great friends that I love dearly. My parents are amazing. I live in a beautiful city.
However, it would be really nice to be able to buy whatever the hell I want. This week, some Russian dude put in a bid to buy the New Jersey Nets. Okay. Maybe it wasn’t the best move to try to buy the Nets, but they might move to NYC. I would buy Fox News…
- I would buy Fox News then tie Glenn Beck to a chair, put him in front a television and let him talk until he has an aneurysm or his heart gives out. I’ll make sure the cameras aren’t on. Promise.
- I would buy the rights to Family Guy and stop production.
- I would revive Michael Jackson and have him die again so I could go through that wonderful two-month period where the only thing anyone talked about was him.
- I would travel through time and settle At the Drive-In’s differences so we could have seen what music would have been like with them around in the early-2000s. Same for Refused.
- I would buy the Sun and name it “The Carl”.
- I would get whistle-tips.
- I would find where the gold is.
- I would make sure that all your base are belong to me.
- I would become immortal.
- I would get a kitten.
- I would be EVERYTHING!
I would get everyone the Healthcare they fucking deserve,
PS: Sorry for the super-meme list. I just love those.