Wolf T-shirt

I’d say this a well-known fact amongst the youth of America, but I feel like discussing something. Wolf t-shirts are fucking sweet. In fact, anything with a majestic animal, scenic views or an epically postured red man plastered across the front owns. At 8, I remember my dad getting back from New Mexico bearing the gift of my very first majestic shirt. It was of a Velociraptor. That’s it. Between the ages of 11 and 21, I lived my life sans majestic/scenic wildreness t-shirt. It took me until 21 to really get the balls to get an epic shirt with a fucking sweet ass white tiger on the front.

I want the balls to wear that shit out in public daily, and not exclusively to concerts where I don’t want to get fucked with. You’d be amazed what an intimidating sight a dude wearing a shirt with a white mother tigress and her pink-nosed cub on the front can be. Aside from being total a-hole repellent, my shirt is a ragin’ chick-magnet. My t-shirt says, I love nature, but I’m also dangerous, OR for the ironic chick, have a sense of humor.

I just wish I had the balls to consistently wear it in public.

I say all this because I saw some kid who looked like one of those geeks that played Pokemon on his Gameboy Advanced in high school wearing a great dragon shirt. I mentioned to Darby that I wanted to be brave like him. I wear plain things. I don’t want to stand out. I think my weird personality and chattiness do that enough. I wanted to own people’s faces with my dragon shirt like that 16 year old kid. I wanted to tell people to fuck-off and come off as the coolest guy at this end of the queue simultaneously, without saying a word.

Please, buy me a dragon shirt,


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